Enough is (not) Enough

When students are upset, we encourage them to use “I statements.” This keeps them from talking on behalf of others or making assumptions.

Well, today I feel angry. I am angry with teaching. Not my school, not my students, teaching.

I feel that we have come to expect too much from our students. It is nothing new to hear that curriculum from 10 years ago can now be found a grade lower. What was first grade curriculum is now kindergarten, what was second grade curriculum is now first, etc., etc. In addition, the rigor the schools work towards has intensified. Suddenly, we are expecting students to learn a exorbitant amount of material in a very limited amount of time. I end most days feeling like the whole day was a blur. I feel like I have not had time to process anything that happened. Well, here’s the thing. I am the teacher, in my 20s, and already know all of the content. If I can’t keep up, how in the world are my students supposed to?

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We are constantly pushing our students to do more and more. I believe that it is important to be challenged. I believe it is just as important to feel success. But students finally ace that test they’ve worked so hard preparing for and we give them a “good job, now…” From then on we have to challenge them more because if they are able to do it all it must be too easy. Reaching an end goal, a finish line is impossible. The same is even reflected in the teacher evaluation system. Teachers are told they will mostly be satisfactory and the possibility of being distinguished overall is so rare. Distinguished…”It is a good place to visit but not to live.” Once again, I believe in high expectations and being challenged, but I want a chance at getting it. I want a chance to say I worked hard and I reached the top.

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Here is the good news. We are producing children whose IQ’s are on average 10 points higher than those who were born in the 90’s. The national unemployment rate continues to fall as we produce students who are better prepared to ender the real-world workforce. Even social skills seem to have improved as the incidences of violent crimes and the frequency of mental health problems have gone down. It is clear, the students coming out of this standardized, test-driven education system are just better, smarter, improved people who are ready to enter the real world.

Is you head cocked? An eyebrow raised? Perhaps my stats don’t seem to line up. They’re made up. I have no idea of exact statistics, but if you ask me I don’t know that there’s been a drastic shift in our students thanks to these changes in education. That being said…

What’s the point?

Letters

letters

No, no. Not these letters.

THESE!

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Remember those pieces of paper you used to write as a child. You’d fold them in thirds, put them in an envelope, and place a stamp on the outside. It’s a fuzzy memory, but dig deep. You know what I’m talking about.

At the end of the summer I wrote to each of my 2nd graders from Oklahoma. I ended each letter with. “I would LOVE to hear from you. Write to me and I will write back!” A few kids took me up on it and I got letters, drawing, and photographs. In addition, I know that some additional kids told a teacher on my old team about the letter and were very excited. I have since been sent some pictures from an old teacher with my students holding up signs about how well they are doing. I’ve returned the pictures encouraging the students to keep going. I LOVE seeing those little faces I spent so much time with last year. I love seeing the pride they have for their own work!

Just this weekend I replied to the letters of students that wrote me back or that I have heard from in other ways. Tonight one of the parents sent me a picture of her son just beaming holding my letter and told me he’s replying tonight. She had some very kind words about the effect I had on her son last year.

I’m 1,000 miles away from my students. The reality is I will likely never see them again in person. However, it is truly incredible to know that your impact is not forgotten. My greatest fear, my greatest guilt of my students feeling like I just up and left has been put to rest. THIS is why I teach.

Dear First Year Teacher,

I’ve completed my first year of teaching and am almost a month into my second. I will continue teaching second grade but this time much closer to home back on the East Coast in Pennsylvania. As the year has been moving, I’ve reflected a lot on my crazy first year of teaching. I am writing this letter to the first year teacher. These are all the things that I would tell myself (and remind myself daily) a short 13 months ago.

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Dear First Year Teacher,

1. Your year is going to be every bit as demanding, strenuous, exhausting, and emotional as you have been warned. This career will consume the seemingly few hours in each day. You students will constantly be on your mind, for better or for worse, and tugging at your heartstrings. You will devour internet sites to find ideas because what in the world are you supposed to do to teach silent consonants?? I think over the last year I’ve been very honest about all of this. However, what you may often forget through the rollercoaster ride of your first year, is that it will be every bit as rewarding as you ever dreamed. The chance to truly impact a child’s life come in each in every moment of the day. You have been given the gift, opportunity, and honor to make this kind of impact, but your students will also impact YOU, changing you every day for the good for the better.

2. Swallow your pride. As a first year teacher, there will be bucketloads of things that you simply cannot know do to inexperience. Do not be afraid to take the help of others. Do not be afraid to ask for help and admit that you feel like you’re barely staying afloat. Do not suffer in silence.
The time will come when you will be the one helping others. Be patient, young grasshopper, your time will come.

3. Leave the idea of perfection behind. In college you had much more control over your successes and failures. Now there are 24 little minions and multiple big minions (also known as administrators) who are dictating your day. Just make the most of each day. Accept your limitations and know that you can also improve in the future. Looking back I can’t help but think, had I done xyz since day one, my students could have progressed SO MUCH further. Hindsight is 20/20, my friends.

4. Pick one thing and become really good at it. It is not possible to perfect everything at once (please refer back to #3). Put your effort into one thing each year. For many people, they choose classroom management out of necessity. For me, I took one of the most difficult parts of my day (small groups) and got the help to make it some of the most effective hours in the classroom.

5. Parents are your allies. It is scary talking to parents, especially for less than stellar reports. Do it anyway. I truly believe that 100% o parents (in a healthy state of mind) want what is best for their children. Sometimes they are doing what they can to help and sometimes not. It’s not your place to judge. Instead, support them, involve them, and encourage them to advocate for their child.

Imagine giving your most prized possession to a stranger for 24 hours. Maybe it’s all of the money in your bank account, maybe your car, or wedding ring. Would you trust them? That’s kind of like teaching except that children can NEVER be replaced and the effects we have on children will never fully disappear. I repeat – You have been given the gift, opportunity, and honor to make this kind of impact. Never forget.

6. YOU CAN DO THIS! There’s a reason that you are a teacher. You didn’t choose teaching, it chose you. So buckle down, hold on tight, and enjoy the ride.

Love,
A first year survivor <3

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Year 1 COMPLETE!

Today was the last day of my first year of teaching. All I can say is WOW! I am going to attempt to sum it up in a few paragraphs but all that I have experiences is more than could ever be shared through words alone.

The First Half of the Year
The first half of the year was mostly survival. Apparently it is common that the actual curriculum does not get rolling until a month or two into school. As a new teacher, that leaves a lot of time for scrambling to teach some kind of basic content as well as solidify procedures. I had many long nights and lesson planned pretty much daily. During this time, I felt like I was constantly teaching day to day with little insight to what the next week might bring.

During this time I say…
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There is a HUGE learning curve your first year and especially those first few months. You are not alone in facing that struggle.

The Second Half of the Year
I had a very unexpected experience from about January to March. It seemed as if during this time everything got harder. I was becoming much stronger in both my execution and planning but this meant I was able to do more, plan better, and differentiate more. Did my students benefit? Absolutely. Was it a lot of wear and tear on my own self. Absolutely again. This can be a long stretch.

But just know…
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During this period I also felt like I was lost myself as a teacher. This has been a very scary thing that I faced twice since graduation. For a girl who’s always seen teaching as the thing she was going to do and as the thing that came naturally, feeling like you lost that persona is terrifying. I didn’t feel like I even liked my kids. Sure I knew deep down I loved them, but day to day I was not excited to go into the classroom. From the moment they came in I was bored and annoyed by their 7 year old tales. My passion seemed to be slowly fading. This is a very tough hill to climb but you have to keep climbing no matter how much your legs hurt and your lungs are burning. The passion…it’s there, it’s just been reduced to the embers awaiting the next wood to ignite it back to its full fruition.

On your hardest days think of this…
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The End
While it seems like it will never come, the last day of school will soon be upon you. It seems impossible but despite all the waiting it still somehow manages to sneak up, concealed until the last moment. I left knowing that I love my kids whole heartedly. The love I felt for my kids left my heart bursting with joy and sadness as I said good bye to them. A mother bird must eventually let her babies step out of the nest and use their own wings to lift them up. Despite knowing this, it is so hard to do. It was made harder knowing I would likely never get to see my students again and could not check up on them. In a school with such high turn over I can’t even secure their spot with a teacher that will be a good fit. They will be in the arms of new teachers not different from myself next year. Many of the students were sad about the end of the school year and some even wished it was longer. The world has thrown many obstacles at my students and the lack of stability in summers is often hard for them. However, they will be ok. We all will. After all, I survived my first year of teaching.

I am incredibly grateful for the experiences that I had, both good and bad. Would I go back and relive this year? Not a chance! But all of them have made me a more capable teacher who will be able to face the obstacles of next year. For that I am so thankful. No price can be put on that experience.

I’ll finish with one last quote to sum things up. I believe in it fully and think it is the best way to live your life.
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Applying for PA Teaching Jobs

<This will be a more informative post about applying for teaching jobs in Pennsylvania.

There are many different avenues you have to go through to apply for teaching jobs across the state. I first recommend you get your general information all together and saved in one place. You will need…
1. Pennsylvania Standard Teaching Application
-Just a warning you cannot save in the document file. I recommend you complete the application and print it. You can then scan it into your computer so that you can save an electronic copy.
Pa Standard Teaching Application
2. Resume My university’s Career Development Center was extremely helpful over the years as I worked on my resume. Do not be afraid to ask for help. These people know what they are doing!
3. Pennsylvania Teaching Certificate
4. Updated Clearances – PA Background Check (Act 34), Child Abuse (Act 151), FBI Fingerprinting (Act 114), and possibly the signed form saying you will report any arrests with 24 hour (Act 24)
5. 3 Letters of Recommendation – Vary your references. If you have one person who is giving the perspective of you in the classroom, try to find another who can give insight to you as a student or leader on campus.
6. Praxis Scores
7. Copy of Transcripts</strong> – Most schools do not require an official transcript. Therefore, I ordered an official transcript that I could open and scan into the computer.

Once those ducks are all in a line, there are a few different websites that are used as a means for applicants and districts to share job postings.
1. PA REAP – http://www.pareap.net/
I have not found that any specific geographic area uses this site. It is fairly simple to upload all of the above information. Once you have done this you can search for job postings, notify a district that you are interested in a position, and see any additional requirements for applying for a position. You can also sign up to get email notifications for jobs that fall into your desired criteria. Some districts will only look on PA REAP for your information so it is a good idea to get this done and out of the way early in your job search.

2. PA Educator – https://www.paeducator.net/
PA Educator seems to be used more frequently by the central and western parts of the state. It is very similar to PA REAP in requiring the basic materials. You can see how many districts have seen your information in the past 30 days and how many have done a detailed search. At the beginning of the job search, this was a frequent stop of mine as I checked to see how many more views I got just to make me feel a bit better and that there was hope in finding a job. (Just checked, 8 detailed looks in the last 30 days. WOO!!)

3. Pennsylvania School Board Association (PSBA) – https://careergateway.psba.org/
This is a website that seems to be used less both by applicants and districts. However, every little bit helps when looking for that first teaching job in PA so why not post your materials one more spot.

Beyond these websites it is important to check districts websites frequently. (Sometimes jobs can be posted an closed in just a week’s time!) Another popular application resources is Recruit and Hire. It is similar to applying for a state college in Pennsylvania. After you’ve filled it out once, the information mostly transfers to the next school. Some schools are still using paper applications. Their website will tell you exactly what to include. I’ve found that sending these in the large yellow envelope typically costs around $1.80.

Last but not least, there is the issue of cover letters. I am still not sure where I stand on whether your cover letter needs to be personalized to each district beyond just updating the district’s name. For a while, I tried to incorporate information about their curriculum or mission in my letter. However, eventually reality hit. I had applied to over 20 districts and was often doing it after teaching a full day. If the district has a lot of information on their website and you feel very strongly about that specific district, try personalizing your letter. If you are just trying to hit all the available positions with your application, it is ok to just change the school’s name in my opinion.

Hopefully this is helpful to anyone looking for a PA teaching position. Trying to apply after being out of school for a year was definitely harder and I was very thankful I had some PA teacher friends that could walk me through the process. Feel free to ask any questions you may have here! Good luck!

The Moment Nothing Else Mattered

Sunday night began was a typical evening. I was feeling an increased amount of stress thinking of all I had to do with school, moving, and job applications, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Around 9:00 I got a text from my team lead. An Amber Alert had been sent out for a young girl who had been abducted in Tulsa. Almost instantly I realized this wasn’t just any girl (as if that isn’t horrible enough). The girl was a second grader from the classroom right next to mine, one of the students who I talked to often.

Immediately, shock and fear struck my body. It seemed as if everyone who texted was at a loss of what to do other than be sure her face was shared as much as possible and pray in hopes that she would be found. There was an intense feeling of helplessness that was hard to swallow. I wasn’t going to bed on time.

The Amber Alert was posted approximately 2 hours after she was taken. With few words of comfort to offer, people said that perhaps it was a family member (in hopes that it would have a better outcome). The only lead was that it was a white male in a small white car. She was a young Mexican girl. The slight comfort that people tried to offer quickly fizzled away. Once again how helpless I was, any of us, seemed to be smothered me like a heavy blanket. The idea of stepping in between a student and harms way was as close to home as it has ever been (and I hope it will have to be). Could any of us have done anything to be sure this girl was safe, we would have. It seemed as if that night nothing else mattered.

The night was long and restless. Thankfully, relief came early the next morning as we found out our precious student had been found and was back in the safekeeping of her family. As the story came to unfold through the media, she was taken at 7:00 while playing on the swing set of her apartment complex with a few other kids (one of which was in my class). Around 9:00 the Amber Alert was issued with very few details. A little after 11:00 a worker supported a suspicious man buying girl’s clothes at a dollar store. Local police responded to the call, fought it out with the suspect, but he got away. An additional police force was called in around 2:00 where they finally took the suspect into police custody and found our little girl soon after in a nearby area. The man was a Level 3 sex offender who was just released from jail in December.

Knowing our student was safe was a tremendous relief, but we are still working to cope with the after effects. Our school is working hard to limit the gossip while supporting those students who need it. Her family has the support of multiple crisis interventions and counselors available. Sunday night will be an event that will follow her like a shadow for the rest of her life, but she is resilient. Despite still having the physical bruises, she came back to school just two days after the horrific night. She is incredibly strong and a wonder to all of us watching her moves and being thankful we get to see her smile another day.

Big Decisions – Changes, guilt, and Learning to Be Selfish

I think from the day I left Teach for America, I knew what decision I would have to make at the end of the year.  I no longer would have the two year commitment to guide my decision.  Whether to stay or leave after the school year was a big decision looming over my head. 

I’ve given a lot of thought to my decision.  I would never have picked up and moved halfway across the country on my own my first year out of college without TFA.  In my head, TFA was like your freshman college dorm.  It was a built in group of friends to support you through a big transition.  Sure most of the people would only be friends under circumstance, but hopefully you’d find one or two good ones to last.  Without that support system and without having teacher friends from my school that I would hang out with outside of work, Oklahoma did not provide a huge support system and social network.

My school year has been full of hardships that in my opinion have gone beyond your typical first-year.  I work in a school with limited resources.  We had nearly no math curriculum, no pacing guide, no leveled library, and have spent over 25% of the year without a copier that was accessible to teachers.  On top of this I was on a team of mostly new teachers and often felt like I was the one taking the lead rather than being able to look to someone else to guide me and help me to get better.

In many ways I knew moving back to Pennsylvania was the right choice.  Professional development is not prioritized in Oklahoma and is rarely provided by an outside expert.  In addition, they have few programs to assist teacher with getting their Master’s and thus many fewer teachers have one.  The school was burning me out at a fast rate.  While I have little to compare it to, I knew I was experiencing a high amount of professional (and personal) stress with less support than I would have preferred.  Oklahoma is ranked as one of the lowest paying states for teachers’ salaries, while Pennsylvania is one of the highest.  Yes, I am surviving just fine but I could be saving more, even with the low cost of living.  Overall, I just feel that being at home (Pennsylvania that is) is the best choice for me professionally and personally.

Even knowing this, it was hard to admit.  I had to get over a level of guilt for leaving my school.  Especially in a school like mine, such a high turn over rate makes it even more difficult for the students, staff, and administration.  I have done all this work throughout the year and while some of it will be able to be salvaged in my future teaching, nothing would compare to getting a chance to teach the same thing again next year and really have a grasp on the curriculum and the best way to teach it.  Finally, this school had given me a shot. They gave me my first job as a teacher, which, at least in Pennsylvania, is not an easy thing to come by.  They gave me a way to get out of a program that I knew was not a good fit for me and led me through a year that, while a rollercoaster ride, has taught me so much.  Was it right for me to take all that was given to me and just up and leave after such a short time?

These were some of the internal struggles that I was (and still am) feeling.  However, I think for anyone in a similar situation, you have to be a little selfish.  I believe teaching is a unique and special career because it so deeply depends on human relations.  Even compared to some jobs, such as those in the medical field, teaching has people being together for 30+ hours a week where that child’s future is, for that year, in your hands.  This can create an enormous amount of stress.  If we as teachers are not thriving ourselves it is not only us that suffers but our students. 

Moving back to Pennsylvania is a hard decision.  There is no one side that is completely positive and one completely negative.  However, I have to do what is best for me.  How this effects others? Well, it’ll be good and bad but I’m one person and my school and more will fill the space I leave. 
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selfish
I will move back to Pennsylvania in about 6 weeks.  I walk forward with little idea of what the next year will bring.  However, even when I thought I had a plan things were turned upside.  And yet, I still came out landing on my feet. I just have to hold my breath, dive in head first, and go with whatever comes my way.

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